[Tuesday, May. 04, 2004] & [1:57 p.m.]
[Friendly Secrets]

For Pieces Of You

Somehow, I have to take back a little of what I previously said. I’m not totally crazy in front of everybody. I exert my crazy mood only when I'm with the young people in the church. Somehow, I learned how to be open to them in spite of myself. Somehow I learned to keep friendly secrets with them though we are all in different ages.

Marilou came into my life when I was struggling so hard to keep my secrets to myself, when I kept all the furious feelings inside of me which made me so down emotionally and angry to my surroundings. Gradually, I poured out myself to her and, for once, I had a friend who understands my very being.

From then on, she had been my confidante. We seem to have mutual understanding between ourselves though we’re not in the same age. We seem to have the same feeling for a certain thing even though we have a very different family class. Although we have lived life separately before, not even knowing each other, we seem to have the same opinion concerning a matter now.

I couldn’t believe how deeply she knows about me in a very short time. I mean, she knows a great deal about me than those old friends of mine I’ve known since childhood. We can tease each other without offending each others feelings. We share our profoundest secrets, from boys to our spiritual state. And from her, I learned how to be open to other people, too.

That’s how I got to unwrap myself to the other young people in the church. After I’ve done that, I felt quite free. Free of the oblivious me I’ve been in the past. I no longer have been the furious girl to my surroundings as I was before.

I thank God that He still sends someone to help His agonizing child from burying herself in her inner mourning.

And I thank God that I still can keep friendly secrets with another person other than myself.

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